You will need (depending on how you want to cook it):
Ground meat (beef/pork/turkey)
Potatoes
Carrots
Onions
Celery/other veggies you want to use
Curry (I use the Japanese premixed curry cubes to make curry rice)

All quantities depend on how much you want to cook.

I start out my browning the meat in a big pot, then drain the fat from it. Use whatever strainer you have on hand. Next I throw in a can or two of chicken broth. Substitute this with water if you don’t have broth on hand, or if you’re experimenting, any other broth you wish. The amount of broth need to be enough, but not too much, to submerge everything that you’ll be putting into the pot.

Then, add in your veggies (cut to bite sizes). I usually start with the carrots and potatoes first since they take longer to cook. Then I add the onions. Set the heat to medium high at this point and wait for it to come to a boil, stirring occasionally. This may take between 15-20 mins depending on your heat source. Once you see it start to boil, turn heat down to low-medium and let the content simmer.

At this point, add the curry cubes. Make sure the cubes are well dissolved in the broth, smash them up if you need to. Stirring continuously for a good 5 mins, then put the lid back on and simmer for another 10 or so then turn off the heat. The broth will thicken as it cools down (unlike traditional Indian/Thai style curry where the liquid isn’t as viscous). Set yourself up a plate of rice (use a deep dish or bowl, however you prefer) and pour the curry over the rice.

If you’re on a budget, just add more ingredients to this pot as it gets low and make yourself an endless curry lasting indefinitely. Never have to wash the pot

and then you bring me home
and we go to sleep
but this time not alone
and i know
and you’ll kiss me in your living room

Life is full of losses and gains, it is up to us to choose that to give up and what to keep, and I believe that’s what matters in the end: the ability to see the values in intangible things. The choices we are given bring us more pain than freedom. We complain when there’s too much, when there’s too little, or when the choices are not of our desire. Have you ever put too much cereal into your bowl and realized that it’s impossible to scoop without spilling? Personally, I’d empty it out into a new and bigger bowl and start over. Like the cereal, the more choices we are presented with, the harder it is for us to get to the right one. A cup of hot tea or coffee represents the moment where we rush into the decision making process without much thought, and we end up burning ourselves and not being able to taste the good stuff. Let it cool down, only then would we be ready to face the situation at hand.

When do sacrifices become selfish? Saving a loved one against his or her will just just bad as destroying ourselves for those who do not wish for it. The decision should be mutual, not one sided. But some how our nature prevents us from realizing that, and the choices we make for others are done in vain, and everyone suffers. We try to take on the responsibility of caring for someone as though we are the savior, the hero, the protector that everyone turns to when things go wrong. We make it seem as though our strength and love are infinite, but in the end we disappoint others, and we are forced to abandon them and taking all their hope away. We make promises we knew we couldn’t keep but we expect others to forgive and forget.

Forever ago, she loved me enough to let me go. Today, I loved another enough to let her go. I took a love and turned it into hatred, and it’s the choice I’ll have to live with. I couldn’t love her like I said I would, and before it gets to the point where I hate her, I have to give her up, I have to let her go, and I have to walk away. She must lose me before I take all she has to offer, and that I couldn’t live with.

This is the wrong kind of good bye. It’s the last I’ll ever say.

I’ve let go of the last attempt at Japan, so that I can pursue the one for next year. Recently I got myself a second job at Fry’s Electronics, which I was pretty excited about since it’d give me some experience in retail and to make some extra cash for the holidays. However, soon after starting I was told that I cannot take off to be in California. At first it was a tough decision for me, keeping a job and making money? Or throwing it all away for something that can be delayed. In the end, after I took everything into account, it became clear to me that it’s not a job worth keeping, and I’d lose more than just money if I cancel my flight. I’d lose a chance to make someone happy, a chance to spend time with people I care about. Jobs come and go, but relationships can break easily and often impossible to mend. Some regrets I can live with, some I can’t. In regards to this situation, I walked away with no regrets. I can always reapply to the job, and I met some awesome people who are looking forward to seeing and working with me if the job accepts me again.

To restate my goal for the year, it is to have no regret about anything I do, and so far I’ve been able to do just that. In order to make new year’s resolution, I must make sure this year’s goal is accomplished, otherwise I’d only be stepping on clouds and falling down all over again. It’s good to finally be on solid ground after all these years of drifting to places beyond my reach. I want to be real, I want to feel comfort, warmth, and sense of existence and freedom to dream without fear of dreams come crashing down. While I’m at it, I want to catch others’ dreams before they crash, and put effort into helping making those come true.

“Come what may,” someone close to me always says. And I say, “I’m ready for it, and I’m ready for you.”

Take my wings, I don’t need them anymore. I’ve flown up high but I’m coming back to stay. These sutures will bring me the closures I’ve always asked for.

Cheers,
Zeke